Now A First Grade Bully
Last year, I wrote about, “Mary” our little kindergarten bully. I’ve tried to be optimistic that once she got comfortable at her new school she might mellow out and quit being so rotten (she moved to our school mid-year). Yeah, well that was a pipe dream. If anything, the child has gotten more rotten as she has gotten older.
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Yes, I feel a bit bad calling a 6 or 7-year old rotten. But there really is no other word for this child’s behavior. I do feel sad for her because I assume the rotten-ness she projects onto my child is probably similar to the behaviors that she sees and lives at home. I don’t know what else would cause a child so young to be so rotten unless they are living it every day. I do feel sad for her, but at the same time she needs to watch herself and leave my child alone.
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My first instinct is to protect my child. Now the Big One is wicked smart, I know I’ve said it before, but it’s really true. She is well above grade-level in everything. What that also means is that like many really smart kids, she is academic-smart but a little lagging in the social-emotional area. She lets this little bully get to her. This morning as we were walking to the Big One’s classroom, Mary was walking the opposite direction as us. As the Big One tried to avoid her by walking to the side of her, Mary zigged in front of the Big One, who then moved to the other side to get around Mary, who then zagged in front of my child again. She was blocking my child from getting to her classroom and I was standing right there. If this child is doing this in front of me, I can only imagine what she does when I am not around. Of course the Big One got upset and ran back to me to get away from Mary. This just added to Mary’s evil grin because she felt that she “won.” I, of course, gave Mary the stink eye, which quickly wiped the evil grin off her face and caused her to run to her class. I don’t want to bully a child, but I’m not sure what else to do to stop the behaviors at this point.
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The Big One tells me some days when Mary bothers her. Usually it’s in the form of running up behind her and screaming or trying to scare the Big One at recess. They do “run-walk” often for recess where they just run or walk laps around the playground. They can earn little plastic feet charms that go on a necklace for every 50 laps they complete. The Big One loves her foot necklace so she always does laps.
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In addition to scaring the Big One or chasing her when the Big One tries to run away, Mary likes to tease the Big One. There is a little boy in the Big One’s class that is wicked smart too. They are reading buddies and like to do run-walk together. The other day as they were walking together, Mary came up behind them singing, “{Big One} and {Boy} sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G….” OY! I know it’s a silly little song that we’ve all probably been subjected to at one time or another, but it really upset the Big One and the Boy. So now the Big One mostly avoids her friend at recess because she doesn’t want to get teased.
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As much as I hate to bother her teacher, I think I am going to have to say something just so that things don’t escalate. I know it’s harmless silly stuff in my eyes, but in my 6-year old’s eyes these are huge injustices. And I am fairly certain that things will not get better with this child, they will continue to get worse.
Guilt, Overwhelmed, Inadequate…
What in the world is going on with me today? Today is Valentine’s Day and my kids took crappy little Dollar Tree Valentines to school for their classmates. The kids didn’t think they were crappy or cheap. They were thrilled to have Hello Kitty tattoos and princess stickers, so why is it bothering me so much that I didn’t “do” anything special for them to share today?
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I am not one to get caught up in mommy comparisons or guilt over not doing enough. I do the best that I can and hope and pray the rest takes care of itself. My girls are happy, healthy, well-adjusted and fairly typical I think. The Husband and I are doing a fine job.
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So why today am I feeling guilty for not making something cool for them to take for Valentine’s Day? This is the dumbest thing ever. I have laundry to do. I have homework to work on. I have dishes to put away. There is dusting that needs to be done. The floors need to be vacuumed and yet I feel this overwhelming need to cover some Oreos in chocolate or make some caramel twisted chocolate covered pretzels. For what? To show that I am crafty or creative? To show that I don’t just sit around all day? Anyone who knows me, I think, knows I don’t sit around watching TV, eating bon-bons all day, so why do I care what The Big One’s teachers or classmates think of the crappy Valentines I sent her to school with? Why was I embarrassed as the Little One put a tiny Ziploc bag of Valentines in the box with all the other Valentine’s that the other kids brought in? This is just dumb. I don’t like feeling this way.
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I hope that I can curb my desire to make something and take it to school later. I truly don’t have the extra time. And I would imagine the teachers and other kids parents won’t even notice that my kids didn’t bring in a special home-made treat. I am fairly certain they are not thinking, “she stays home all day and this is the best she can do for Valentine’s Day?” I need to figure out a way to cut myself some slack! I don’t like feeling this way.
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Instead let me show you what we’ve made in years past, somehow this justifies my being so lame this year!
Heart Crayons
Chocolate lollipops with cool Valentines.
White chocolate cups filled with heart candies
Just Keep Swimming….
I figure maybe if I say it enough, I will be able to do it!
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There is no other way to put this, other than to just say it like it is…..
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GRAD SCHOOL IS KICKING MY BUTT!!
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Oh my gosh, y’all this is so hard. I feel like all I ever do it study, study, study, write, write and research. And then research some more.
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I have sorely neglected this wonderful little blog that is supposed to be replacing the baby books and journals of all the great things my kids are doing that my on-top of it friends all seem to be able to keep (okay, so maybe there are only one or two friends who are THAT organized. Don’t want to make everyone feel inadequate like me!) When the girls are older they are going to wonder what in the world was going on from 2011 – 2013 because there aren’t many pictures being taken or blogs being written. And that makes me a little sad.
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I knew grad school would be hard, but I had no idea it would be this hard (and time consuming). My school estimates that most students spend 12-15 hours per week on each course and since I am not so smart and taking TWO courses each semester. I am barely keeping afloat here. That 12-15 hours per course is no exaggeration. In fact it might be a bit conservative. There are some weeks where I feel like I am spending every waking moment trying to get my discussion questions done, or responding to classmates posts or completing writing assignments or reading a zillion pages of case studies, articles and books. This stuff is hard. But I am getting through it!
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I know I have missed a million funny things that the Big One and the Little One have said or done. So here is a Reader’s Digest version of what I can remember.
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In September the Little One started a full day preschool two days a week. She hated it and since it cost almost $700/month she quit that school after one month (no, that $700 is NOT a typo!).
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In October she started a ½ day program at a different preschool (actually it’s only three hours). She loves it and is hopefully learning some stuff so she is ready for kindergarten in the fall!
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In November we stole a whole bunch of caterpillars from Grammy and Papa’s house so that we could watch some butterflies do their thing. And I finally took an updated picture of the girls and dog, so the Husband would stop harassing me about it.
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In December The Husband and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. Actually he forgot, but that’s a different story. We did spend a fun weekend at the Crystal Pier Hotel sleeping over the ocean. It was beautiful and very relaxing!
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On January 6, the Big One finally lost her first tooth! Poor kid thought it was never going to happen. She is one of the few kids in her class who hadn’t lost a tooth! The Tooth Fairy brought her a Sacagawea dollar, which she insisted on taking to school to share. I told her as soon as she was done sharing it needed to go in her backpack. After she shared it, her teacher told her to put it in her backpack. Do you think she listened? Nope, so I hope that the kid who found it, and kept it, is enjoying it. It was a very hard lesson to learn, no doubt.
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Last week we made our first trip to the Emergency Room with the Little One. That was fun. She’s been having severe headaches, to the point where she vomits. Then she wouldn’t walk or move her head. So instead of letting me make an apt with her pediatrician they erred on the side of caution and directed us to the ED. We were there for two hours to be told she probably had a migraine and a virus on top of that.
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So today we followed up with our pediatrician who thinks the headaches are all sinus related. So we got some antibiotics and will see if the symptoms continue or disappear. I suffer from migraines, so I am not so sure that I am ready to chalk all of her symptoms up to a sinus infection. (I hope that’s all it is don’t get me wrong!) Once we finish the course of abx we will re-evaluate how she is feeling.
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OH! And how could I almost forget, we are selling Girl Scout cookies too! I am the Big One’s Daisy troop leader and the Husband is the “Cookie Dad” for our troop. You all know what that means, right? WE are knee deep in cookies, so let me know if you need some!
A Little Insight
As to why I am always tired. It’s been a while since I’ve shared a typical night with y’all. I know the kids were younger, sleeplessness is expected. But they at 6 and 4, I need them to sleep now!!
10 p.m. –Crawl into bed. The Husband is already snoring. This is my fault because I stayed up an hour later than he did so I could watch some mindless television.
10 – 11:30 p.m. – listen to Husband snore. Last time I looked at the clock was 11:30, so assume I fell asleep somewhere soon after.
2 a.m. – Wake up because I have the world’s smallest bladder (TMI I know!)
2:03 – 2:35-ish a.m – try to fall back asleep thinking about all the stuff I have to do. Fell asleep somewhere after 2:35 (again, last time I remember looking at the clock)
3:00 a.m. – The Big One is standing next right next to my face sobbing that her leg hurts. The Big One has had “growing pains” or leg cramps or whatever off and on since she was about 2. We’ve been to the doctor, they’ve done X-rays and blood work. They can’t find anything “wrong” with her legs. So we deal with periodic sobbing and pain.
3:04 a.m. –the Big One is back in bed with some fresh water to drink (I think most of her pain is caused by cramps when she gets dehydrated, but I am not a doctor, so what do I know?)
3:08 a.m. –The Husband is snoring again (having slept through the Big One’s sobbing to this point). The Big One is really crying now. I go back in her room to see what the problem is and she says her water tastes “yucky” and her legs are “really hurting.”
3:12 a.m. – I stomp down the hall, annoyed with my household. Get some Tylenol for the Big One and another fresh cup of water in a different cup, hoping that it no longer tastes yucky.
3:14 a.m. –huff and puff getting back into bed. Waking the Husband, who wants to know what’s going on and what time it is. Explain to him the issue.
3:16 a.m. – The Husband in snoring again, but I must’ve managed to fall asleep in spite of it.
4:58 a.m. – The Husband leaves for work (or to walk the dog) I’m not sure. I just heard the front door open and close.
6:00 a.m. – The Little One is beckoning from her room, “MOMMY! MOMMA!!!MOMMY!!! When are you going to wake up???”
And that my friends is why I am always tired ( and usually cranky!)
A First Around These Parts
We haven’t had too many “firsts” around our house lately. The Big One in 6 and the Little One is 4 so we are out of firsts for a little bit.
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Yesterday, though we had a monumental first! It’s flu shot time and the Big One is notorious for freaking out at the mere thought of a flu shot, or really any kind shot. Truth be told she freaks out at the prospect of going to the doctor’s office. She had one little wart on her foot that is now three little warts and one good size one, so I am dreading making this appointment.
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But anyway, that’s not the first I want to talk about. We all loaded in the car and headed to the Kaiser to get our flu shots. I honestly had been dreading it all day after The Husband mentioned it. But now the time had come and we had to do it.
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We got parked and hiked back to the trailer where the flu shot clinic is being held. (gotta love the parking situation at the hospital). We walked in and there were three LVNs just chilling. They seemed excited at the prospect of customers. So they were very welcoming and friendly.
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I sat down and started the paperwork, while both kids clung to my sides like socks with static cling on a pretty skirt. While The Husband chatted and goofed around with the LVNs. The one LVN was trying to engage the girls and warm them up to her, so she started asking them questions. The girls loosened up a bit and talked back to her.
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As I was wrapping up all the paperwork, the LVN asked if the girls wanted to sit on dad’s lap or mom’s. I think she wanted to get it done before any more anxiety set it. Both kids said mom, so they had to wait until I finished all of the paperwork. Then the little one suddenly piped up, “I am going fiwst because I am brave and {Big One} is not!!”
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It was so funny, but we couldn’t laugh because the Big One seemed a bit offended. So we all encouraged them that they could both be really brave. So then the time came.
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I sat down, the Little One sat on my lap, we counted to three and it was done. She said, “I didn’t even fewl a fing!”
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So then it was the Big One’s turn. She was tense and trembling just a little as she climbed up on my lap.
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I will say we were leaps and bounds ahead of last year. When I took them, the Big One started sobbing and screaming as soon as we walked into the building. We didn’t even know where the flu shot clinic was being held, and she was already screaming!
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So I got her on my lap, the LVN told me to watch the Big One’s right hand (she was afraid of getting smacked or the needle being pulled away). So I gently grabbed the Big One’s hand and asked her to look over to the right where The Husband and Little One were standing. We counted to three and ….
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It was done.
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And THERE WERE NO TEARS!! There was not even a flinch, squeal, gasp or anything. She was a rockstar. She just sat there calmly and lived through it without a tear.
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I almost cried because there was not drama. It was awesome and I was so proud of her!
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To celebrate we went to the Children’s Pool and watched the seals for a bit then went to Chili’s for dinner.
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It was a fabulous first – no tears at the flu shot clinic!
My Letter to Kaiser…
Dear Member Services:
I am writing today to let you know of a very negative experience I had today, August 18, 2011 at around 11:45 a.m. at the Lab at Vandever.
My 4-year-old daughter needed to have her blood drawn for a lead test in order to start preschool. She and I had talked about what to expect and what was going to happen. She understood that she would be poked with a needle and blood would be taken out of her arm. She has never had a problem with getting her vaccines, so I didn’t anticipate this blood draw would be a problem.
We were called back. I sat down in the chair with my daughter on my lap. A second phlebotomist came over to assist in keeping my daughter still. The first phlebotomist prepped my daughter and poked her. My daughter flinched a little and then proceeded to scream and wiggle in pain. I couldn’t see what was going on with my daughter’s arm, as my daughter’s body was between me and the first phlebotomist. I could see the second phlebotomist grimacing as my daughter continued to scream hysterically. I assume that the gal missed and was wiggling the needle around in my daughter’s arm trying to find the vein. My daughter was obviously in pain and finally the first phlebotomist removed the needle and told me she needed to try again.
I was upset, but I understand that it happens sometimes.
My real issues began when a third phlebotomist came over to “assist.” My daughter was very upset, screaming, flailing her arms, kicking her feet and was just generally uncooperative. I was trying to calm her down before we attempted with her other arm. Instead of giving me some time to calm my daughter down, the lab staff immediately grabbed for my daughter’s arm and tried to get the strap around her arm. My daughter hit the first phlebotomist and grabbed the strap.
I asked again for a minute to calm my daughter down. She is four-years –old. She was very frightened and her arm was sore. They continued to try and get the strap on my daughter’s arm, while she continued to scream and kick. Again I said, “Give me a minute to calm her down.”
At which point, the third phlebotomist looked at me and said, “We are 10 behind, we don’t have a minute. We have to do this now!” I don’t know for sure exactly what “10 behind” means, I assume it had to do with patient numbers and wait times. It seemed to me your lab staff was more concerned with numbers and quotas rather than paying attention to the four-year-old child who was petrified on my lap. That is unacceptable.
My daughter was still screaming hysterically and coughing and gagging.
I was so upset at that point, that I grabbed my daughter up in my arms to shield her from the lab staff. I told them I was going to take a minute for everyone to re-group.
It took me at most 90 seconds to calm my daughter down enough that we moved into the back room and had her lie down on the table. She was still frightened, but she was calm. The first phlebotomist tried again and was successful with one easy poke to get the blood draw done. My daughter was calm and even giggled saying it didn’t hurt at all.
I understand we were taking time from the staff, but I also know that if I had been given 60 seconds the first time I asked for a minute to calm my daughter down before we tried on arm number two, the whole scenario would have never happened.
It was just extremely frustrating for me as a parent to feel like my daughter’s feelings and fears didn’t matter. It seemed that the staff members only cared about getting the numbers moved through the system.
I would really like some reassurance that your staff members are trained to remember that while numbers and wait times are important, the bottom line is the human connection. I am fairly certain that the people sitting in the waiting area – especially those with children – would have been happier to wait an extra minute in silence than have to sit there listening to my child’s blood curdling screams as your staff continued to push the issue.
I can guarantee that the next time my child has to have blood drawn, she will remember today and it is only going to make things more difficult the next time.
I apologize I was so upset that I didn’t get the names of anyone involved in the situation. But maybe that’s a good thing, maybe your entire staff needs a general reminder that it’s your members – the people – not the numbers that should matter the most.
Thank you for your time,
There’s No Arguing
The Big One is wicked smart. I know, all parents say that about their children, but it’s really true. She is very much like the Husband. She has his science-math-engineering type brain. Of course that means she is also a big ole’ pain in the butt sometimes for someone like me who has a more creative-type brain.
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I (and the Little One) live in a world where things are sometimes gray. The Big One and the Husband live in a very black or white world. The Husband will tell you that math makes the world go around; there is a logical – explainable – answer for everything.
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I prefer to think that there is flexibility, in the world. Yes I see the logic but I also see exceptions and room for your own judgment or justification for the way things are.
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So after swimming lessons yesterday, the Little One asked, “how many wheels does your car have?”
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I replied that my car, like most cars, has four wheels. Of course, the Big One immediately whined, “Nuh-huh!” I was a bit surprised that she was actually going to argue with me about the number of wheels on the car.
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So I humored her and asked her how many wheels she thought my car had. Immediately my brain when to the spare tire, thinking okay technically there are five, but how on earth would the Big One know about the spare tire. We’ve never had to use it or even talk about it (knocking on wood now).
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So she proceeded to explain to me that the five were quite simply – the four that make the care move, plus the steering wheel. And that is how you get to five.
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I had to give that one to her.
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{Please don’t correct me here with “wheels” vs. “tires” vs “round things that help the car roll.” It’s just a funny little story!}
Cure for the Cleocin Nastiness
So the Big One has had strep throat for six weeks now. We’ve been on amoxicillin twice, followed by cefdinir and now finally cleocin.
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When she was given the cefdinir I was kind of grossed out by it. It was a milky white color and by the end of the 10 days the stuff smelled rancid. It honestly smelled like rotten eggs after the first couple days. I checked, double checked and triple checked to make sure it was supposed to be stored at room temperature. I was certain that anything that smelled progressively worse really ought to be refrigerated or something. But nope everything said room temperature. Anyway once she finished this round of antibiotics I hoped we would be good to go.
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Well five days after she finished, her fever spiked and she threw up. So back to the doctor we went. The doctor prescribed cleocin. She warned me that it was a “serious antibiotic” that should surely wipe out this darn strep. She also warned that it would more than likely cause “severe stomach issues.”
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Great.
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I was overjoyed as we headed to the pharmacy. Once we picked it up, I was a bit more nervous when the pharmacist gave me three bottles of medicine along with three packets of lemon-lime flavorings. I knew this was a bad sign. I asked about using FLAVORx to make it taste better, the pharmacist said it was fine to do, but of course the Kaiser pharmacy doesn’t offer it.
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No worries, I called Rady Children’s Hospital San Diego’s outpatient pharmacy when we got home. The pharmacy tech that I talked to told me they could flavor it, but “really nothing is going to mask the flavor of that stuff.” After I smelled it, I immediately understood what I had been warned about. The stuff smells like week-old cat pee. It is pure nastiness.
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Great.
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The pharmacy tech did suggest strawberry or chocolate syrup. I also did some googling to see if others had problems with the flavor of this stuff. Yep, there were a few other suggestions out there. This blog cracked me up and also prepared me for what was to come.
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We tried many of them unsuccessfully. Now the Big One was an amazing trooper through this experimentation. We tried strawberry syrup, chocolate syrup, Tang, crushed up Smarties, the lemon lime stuff from the pharmacy and even straight up medicine with several chasers – water, Oreos, Smarties, chocolate milk and lemonade.
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Each time we tried something new the Big One grimaced and shook her head, “NO!” I even turned to my Facebook friends for any and all suggestions. Most of them we had already tried. Except for one… snow cone syrup.
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I figured it was worth a try. The stuff is so sugary sweet it just might work. So we bought some grape snow cone syrup. I dosed out the medicine and then filled the medicine cup to the rim with the syrup. The Big One carefully picked it up and gulped it down.
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We waited.
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And waited.
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She didn’t grimace.
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She didn’t shake her head.
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She just shrugged her shoulders and said, “better!”
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So there you have it. If your poor child is ever put on this nasty medication, snow cone syrup is the way to go.
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Oh What a Beautiful Morning…
Oh what a beautiful day. I figure if it keep saying it maybe it will come true. But somehow I doubt it.
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The Big One has been struggling to get over scarlet fever since June. Well technically the rash is gone but the strep bacteria has been hanging on. Poor kid has been on antibiotics pretty much since her initial diagnosis on June 4.
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She stopped her latest dose five days ago. I thought we were doing good; usually about two days after she stops the antibiotics the symptoms re-appeared. Five days symptom-free was looking really good to me.
This morning, she woke up complaining that her head hurt and her arm hurt. I told her to lay back down and rest. The suddenly she bolts up and runs down the hall, screaming, “I’m gonna puke!!”
I admit when she first started complaining, I ignored it because I had just seen a roach the size of Texas in my brand new bathroom. I was on a mission to find the Raid that I have been using to eradicate the ants.
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Since the Big One made it to the bathroom in plenty of time, I continued my search for the Raid. I found it, checked on the puking kid and headed back to my bathroom. Fortunately the big huge roach was still in there. I say fortunately because if that thing had disappeared I would have gone bonkers all day trying to find it.
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Okay, in real life the thing was huge!!
So I took aim at the thing with the Raid. Now, I am not a screamer when it comes to bugs. I generally just squash them and move on. But as soon as I hit this sucker with the Raid it came after me. I freaked out. I squealed like a baby and started dancing around like I was walking on hot coals. I continued to spray the sucker and it continued coming at me. I kid you not I think I used at least half of the bottle of Raid to finally kill the darn thing. It was huge.
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Fortunately for me, while I was freaking out about the roach, the Little One was being a good little momma and was rubbing the Big One’s back as she continued to puke in the other bathroom.
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So now an hour later, the Big One is resting with a temp of 101.7°, the roach is dead, and I need to call the doctor yet again. At least since this will be the fourth time, – if it’s still strep – I hope we can get a referral to ENT.
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