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A Call from the Principal

December 14, 2018

If only this was on her person and not on the kitchen counter today…

So when you have a kiddo like the Little One and the school calls during the day, you tend to lose a few years off your life. Granted the last time the school called me during the day, it was actually the Big One who got nailed in the face with a ball. She was the bloody, injured one. The Little One has been injury free for almost one full year (c’mon December 26!) So I really do need to cut her some slack.

Today, I was just minding my own business making cookies for a cookie exchange that I am attending tomorrow when my phone rang. As soon as I saw the number, my heart rate increased and a large pit began instantly forming in my gut.

This is how it went:


PRINCIPAL: Hello, is this Mrs. FIXITMOMMY?

FIXITMOMMY: Yeeeessssss

PRINCIPAL: Hi, this is Mr. PRINCIPAL, principal at XYZ School. First let me say all of your children are healthy, safe and okay. Nobody is hurt. They are all good.

FIXITMOMMY: Okkkkaaaaayyyyy

PRINCIPAL: Well, you know today Little One went on the field trip lunch reward to In-N-Out. Well, there was a little incident.

FIXITMOMMY: uhhhh-huhhhhh

FIXITMOMMY’s BRAIN: Oh dear God, she puked at In-n-Out

PRINCIPAL: Well, Little One ate and at some point got up to go to the restroom…

FIXITMOMMY’s BRAIN: OH MY GOSH!, She was pooping at In-N-Out and missed the limo bus back to school. She got left at In-n-Out! Oh that kid!

PRINCIPAL: She apparently put her retainer on her food tray. So while she was in the restroom one of the In-N-Out workers bussed her tray and… you know where this is going.

FIXITMOMMY: Retainer in the trash can…

PRINCIPAL:  Now the later group is still there with one of my vice principals. There are a couple In-N-Out employees going through the trash bags  right now trying to find it. If they find it, the vice principal will bring it back with her.

FIXITMOMMY: UGH! I’ll kill her

PRINCIPAL’S BRAIN: Great, now I cannot in good conscience send this poor child home today.

FIXITMOMMY: {starts with a giggle and then starts laughing really hard.}  Nobody needs to go through the trash. That is just plain gross! It’s just a retainer.

PRINCIPAL: Well, I am glad we can laugh about this. I have kids who had retainers, those things are not cheap. And well, they were willing to look for it.

FIXITMOMMY: No, they are not cheap and that is why I bought insurance for the things.

PRINCIPAL: Ohhhhhhhh well, they are insured. That’s why you can laugh about it. (talking to Little One) Your mom says they are insured. It’s okay.

FIXITMOMMY: {Still laughing.} Yeah she’s fine. It’s just a retainer.

PRINCIPAL: Well, we were REALLY nervous to make this phone call. Would you like to talk to her?

FIXITMOMMY: {Still laughing}  of course I’ll talk to her

LITTLE ONE:  Hi Moooommmmyyyy  *sniffle sniffle*

FIXITMOMMY: DUDE! It’s a retainer. It’s not the end of the world. Daddy will be ticked, but that’s why we bought insurance. It’s all good.

LITTLE ONE: I know, why do you think I told them to call you?


So that’s that, a retainer in the trash can at In-N-Out. We’ve survived another call from the school that did not result in an emergency room trip. Hooray for small miracles.

** Clearly names have been changed to protect the innocent. And I have taken the liberty of putting words in the principal’s brain.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Mary Large permalink
    December 14, 2018 3:25 pm

    Katie lost hers once. Thought she had thrown it out with her lunch sack. I went through the dumpster, found her sack, not there. Then one of the more charming girls in my Brownie troop ask what we were looking for. She then announced she knew where it was and lead us to the kndg. sandbox where she dug it up! Claimed she had no idea how it got there and that she had not buried it.
    Retainers are such fun. Can’t remember how many times I would tear the bedroom apart because they woke up with it hurting and would throw it.

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