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Well, Tomorrow Is The Day…

March 16, 2009

I am excited. The Big One is excited. I am a little sad, though too.

The Big One is starting preschool tomorrow. Yes it’s a weird time to start preschool, but hey we’ll always remember St. Patrick’s Day. We even went out over the weekend to buy a special green outfit for the occasion.

It’s a brand-new preschool. They had hoped to open in January, but had some licensing issues so we start in March. No big deal.

It’s close to home, which is a huge bonus when you live where we live. In case you’ve missed my lamenting, it’s 13 miles to the closest Starbucks. And about 20 miles to the “good” Target. I know y’all in San Diego cannot even fathom that kind of commute for a Grande White Mocha, but for me it has sadly become a reality.

Here’s the thing, the Husband and I are “those” parents. We’ve never gotten a baby sitter. Yes, you read that correctly. The girls have been left with relatives, but never with a “stranger.” Their grandparents, aunts and cousins have watched them, but they have never been left with anyone who wasn’t blood-related.

So last week when the Big One went to Sunday School alone, you see now how huge that was. Granted her Sunday School teacher is fabulous and wonderful and might as well be family we’ve known her for so long.

But tomorrow, I will be handing the Big One off to a “stranger.” Yes, we’ve met with the director several times. I went to see the facility. Then I went back with the Husband. Then when Grammy and Papa were in town we went back yet again. Frankly, I am a bit surprised she let us register the Big One.

I am certain that the teachers are wonderful and that the Big One will thrive and love it, but it’s still a bit scary to me to just hand her over. Yes, it’s only three hours, but a lot can happen in three hours.

In addition to my fears of her not being well cared for and loved, I think part of it is fear that I have not done a good job as her mom getting her ready for this day. Will she be polite? Will she fight with other kids? Will she be bossy? Will she make it to the potty on time?

UGH! Who knew that preschool could be so stressful? I imagine that the Big One will be polite, she will probably argue with other kids about a toy, she will probably be a bit bossy to someone, and she may or may not have an accident.

And I know in my brain that it’s okay if all of the above happens. It’s my heart that needs some convincing. I just want her to fit in. I want her to make new friends. I want her to learn new things. I want her to have fun adventures.

Yes, if you’ve made it this far. I know I am a freak. I know it’s preschool. I know it’s just three hours. I know it’s not like I am sending her off to boot camp. I know it all. But that doesn’t stop me from being a bit neurotic about it!

Bottom line…. The Big One is excited. I am betting that I cry before she does.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. March 16, 2009 9:11 pm

    Joyce…I remember that first day of school for Brittany and all those same emotions you are going through. Like you, I too wouldn’t leave my children with anyone I didn’t trust and know so well. It was harder for me than for them to let go and give a little more independence. Now I look at my oldest who will be starting high school next year and wonder how we got here so fast! We can only cherish each moment at each stage. I know you will do great, and you will hold back your tears once your in the car and your driving away they will come…or at least that is how it worked for me. The great thing is, once the time comes to pick her back up you will get to hear all about her day and see the happiness on her face! That is the best part of pre-school, seeing them become independent! I send you hugs and can’t wait to see her first day pictures!! 🙂

    Victoria

  2. Bridget permalink
    March 17, 2009 4:34 am

    I don’t think you’re a freak at all! I also can count on one hand the number of times the girls have had a ‘sitter’ that wasn’t someone I was related to, so if you’re a freak, I’m one too!
    Congrats on “Big One” entering the school world. I am so looking forward to September when K can go into K4 here (they dont call it preschool but its the same darn thing). I wish we were starting now, she needs it if only for the social aspect. I hope you guys all stay madly in love with the place and that Big One makes lots of friends and has a great time!

  3. Heather permalink
    March 17, 2009 5:24 am

    I want to give you a big hug this morning! I remember going through the same thing. It was hardest when I sent Hannah off to kindergarten. I put her on the bus and she was gone from me for 4 hours. For the first time in her life I was not allowed access to her. Don’t hover today, do a drop and run! Trust me it’s easier that way. Drive to the good Target and stop by Starbucks then go pick her up. She’ll have the biggest smile on her face when she sees you, and so will you!

  4. Deborah permalink
    March 17, 2009 9:06 am

    I know the pain. J was a mess the first few weeks of school because unlike A she didn’t want to go. Now that she’s been in it since Sept. (only Tue & Th for about 5 hours each time) she loves going and I bet A will do just fine. Yes there will be crying, pushing, not wanting to share, but school is the way that they learn to NOT do those things. No you’re not a freak…you’re a mom and that says enough.

  5. Caity permalink
    March 17, 2009 10:16 am

    I don’t think you are a freak at all! My boy’s have only been watched by family and never had a real babysitter. I worried about the same things, did I do a good job with Keegan how would he react without me around and He did fine! He loved it, and it turns out I raised a pretty great Kid! I am sure you have done the same, you are a great mom! Connor on the other hand is a different story lol, He is on a waiting list for preschool and I am sure it is because they have heard he is a handful haha!

  6. Holly permalink
    March 17, 2009 12:19 pm

    I’m pretty sure I’ll have to be on strong prescription meds when Hope goes to preschool, so I can totally relate to all the anxiety you’re feeling. Hopefully once the shock part wears off, you’ll start to really love the 3 hours with just the Little One part 🙂

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