Eradicating Enemy Number One

Today is the big day. I am done. I can’t take it any longer. It has to stop. So today we are on a search and destroy mission in my house. No pacifier is safe today. We will find each and every one of them and they will be destroyed.

What brought along such a violent approach? Three nights in a row of be startled awake by the blood curdling screams from the Big One when she couldn’t locate the dreaded paci.

The Big One will be 3 years old in two weeks, it is high time to get rid of the dumb thing. We’ve tried in the past and somehow she always gets another one. We’ve tried cutting the tips off of them so they are “broken.” We’ve tried the “Big girls don’t need pacis” approach. We’ve tried the “sending them to the babies” approach. Somehow none of them have worked.

The Big One has discovered one in the bottom of my purse. She has found several in my car {they must be like rabbits with the way they multiply}. She has even gone so far as to steal them from the Little One.

So tonight we are going paci free. The Little One is getting dragged into this battle now so that I don’t have to re-live it in another year. Yes, I will also be taking them away from the Little One too. I figure if one of them is going to scream all night, might as well add the other to the mix. If you’ve got any tips to make the transition easier, please send them my way.

The biggest challenge with tonight’s cold turkey mission is that it will coincide with another life-changing event for the Big One. The parental unit is on their way to our house as I type with the “big girl” bed. Yes, we are combining two life altering moments tonight. We will be going paci-free in a brand new twin bed.

I know the psychologists reading this {you know you are out there} are cringing and shaking your heads at me. I know it’s a mistake to combine two “life-changing” events at the same time. Trust me, it’s not the first time I’ve screwed up with the Big One. And I can guarantee that it won’t be the last. Hey! Maybe I’ll go for the triple threat and put her in panties and throw the diapers away tonight too.

C’mon you didn’t think I was serious did you. I’m not a total moron. I am after all the one who would have to clean the sheets in the middle of the night when she peed all over the brand new bed.