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Relax. It’s just a bite of cheese

November 30, 2018

So today we are talking Costco samples. I am not judging anyone. I’ve sampled my fair share of amazing goodness at Costco. The Husband and the Little One have had many a “free lunch” at Costco skipping from sample booth to sample booth. But sometimes, y’all need to keep your heads about you. It’s often a tiny bite, hardly enough to fill your seemingly ravish hunger pains.

Now, a little background, I typically go to Costco during the week right when they open. This way I can avoid the starved zombies walking around at the lunch hour. Today I went at lunch time and here is a snippet of what I experienced.

It was very crowded. Almost like a Saturday morning crowded. There was a large crowd gathered around a station set-up sampling a variety of cheese dips with gluten-free crackers. I was waiting my turn to squeeze through the small space that remained uninhabited in the giant walkaway. It had become completely congested so that only one cart could fit through at a time.  There was a man behind me who I could sense was getting really impatient. I could hear his breathing and a slight grumble growing as I continued to wait my turn. Then I heard the man let loose…

GRUMPY MAN: “Why do they do that? They just park their damn kid in the middle of the aisle just to get a damn cracker!”

FIXITMOMMY:  Quietly giggling to myself because the man sounds and looks a lot like my dad.

WIFE OF GRUMPY MAN: “It’ll just be a minute,” in a calm soothing voice. I could just imagine her patting his arm behind me.

Now there was a slight break in the traffic. I moved one step forward, the grumpy man moved about four steps forward to my one.

Then I blew it.

I hesitated.

Totally my fault.

I own it.

I chickened out and let someone coming at us go through. Now the Grumpy Man was at my hip, he was not longer behind me.

As the traffic cleared again, Grumpy Man spoke to me, “Well, are you going to go?”

Before I could reply, his wife, shrugged her shoulders at me and mouthed, “I’m so sorry.”

At which point, my inner child was trying so hard to not laugh because this cute couple could very well have been my own mom and dad.

Not wanting to cause a scene by laughing at the situation, I said, “How about you lead the way and I’ll follow.”

After thinking for half a second says, “OKAY, are you ready? Stay close. I got you!”

I kid you not, y’all I was dying. It was so funny. We were in war with the lookie-loo samplers and my new friend who started off annoyed with my timidness had my back.

His wife grabbed the back of his coat, reached for my cart and said, “Stay with us,” as she giggled with me.

He peeked over his should, saw I was there and said, “here we go!” and away we went through the crowd.

We successfully emerged on the other side of the sample station and I exclaimed, “Thank you for blazing a trail for me!”

At which point, the Grumpy Man, nodded my way and then pressed on towards the pallets of Kleenex and toilet paper.

So today, I salute my new trailblazer friend at Costco. There are still people good in the world.

But seriously, y’all need to chill and keep the traffic flowing during the Costco lunch hour adventures. Please for the love of humanity, don’t leave your “damn kid in the middle of the aisle.” Just pull off to the side and eat all the gluten-free, cheese dipped crackers you want.

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