Dumb Idea Part II

Let me preface this by saying I am a dog lover. I have always had a dog. I dig dogs. I think they are great companions, friends, protectors and pets. Dogs rock.

The problem is this is the first time I have had to train a dog with two small children. When I adopted Max 10 years ago, I was single and still living with my parents so it wasn’t so bad and I had back-up in the form of mom and dad.

With Gracie Lou I am essentially on my own. She is leery petrified of the Husband. We conclude she must have been abused by a man at some point. So every time he even looks at her she cowers and hides behind me. So for training, I am on my own.

Another disclaimer: Gracie Lou is a great dog. She is sweet, playful, house-trained, non-aggressive and fun.

The first issue is she is still a puppy. So the list of unauthorized things that I pulled from her mouth and/or paws yesterday included: One Elmo slipper, one pink sock, one white tiger figurine, one small boy (the only person we have to the doll house we bought the girls at thrift store, and one of the only toys they consistently fight over), one sippy cup, one pink kitty cat Robeez shoe (no she didn’t go for the knock-off Robeez she went for the real thing) and one caterpillar tambourine.

But honestly, she didn’t “destroy” any of those items. I caught her quick enough there was minimal damage. The bigger challenge for me is the additional stress.

Here’s how or afternoon played out. At about 2:30 the Little One started screaming like someone was ripping her toenails off. She usually sleeps until 3 p.m. so the fact that she was even awake was strange let alone screaming. As I raced up the stairs, Graice lou thought it was a game and just about killed me trying to beat me up the stairs. Thank God we have a landing halfway up or else I think I might have been trampled.

As we reached the top of the stairs, the Big One was crying too. So I stopped in the bathroom first to see what was wrong with the Big One. Turns out she didn’t quite make it to the potty on time so she was sitting on the pot holding her poop stained panties sobbing. I take the panties put them in the sink and head for the Little One who really sounds like she is dying now.

Turns out she was in pain, lots of pain. Somehow she got her chunky little leg wedged in between the slats of her crib. She must have stuck her knee through and then twisted a bit because it was stuck. I tried pushing it back through to no avail. So now my mind was racing as to what to do. I was thinking I could go to the garage and get a saw to try and cut the slats away. But then I figured with the way she was writhing in pain I probably would have cut her leg off. So then I thought about a hammer and just whacking the slats until they gave way. No that won’t work either because then I would have splintered wood exposed and where would she sleep later. I could go find a wrench to try and take the thing apart, but that would take too long. Mind you it had only been about 5.3 seconds since I assessed the initial situation. The mind of a mommy is quick!

I took a chance and twisted her knee just a bit and forced it back through. As soon as it was through, she collapsed in her crib. So I was convinced I broke her leg and what in the world was I going to do with this dog when I have to take her to the Emergency Department. It was not good.

I picked her up, took her over to the changing table and changed her nasty stinky diaper first. (you all know the saying… scared the poop out of her, yes I think that’s what happened). And then I manipulated her leg. She let me bend and straighten it so I figured it wasn’t actually broken. It was just mis-shapen, red, bruised and turned a little sideways. I put her down on the floor to see if she could walk. She was a bit wobbly, then she limped for an hour or so and then she was fine.

What does any of this have to do with the dog. Well you see all the while I was trying to get the Little One un-stuck, the Big One was still sitting on the potty. During the entire ordeal all I kept hearing was, “NO! Gwacie Wou… NO butt sniffing.” Followed by “STOP SNIFFING MY BUTT, GWACIE WOU!”

Yes, Gracie Lou is a good dog. Other than the fact that she is petrified of the Husband, she chews on anything she can find and she is a butt/crotch sniffer.

Ahhhhh, fun times.