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The Beach is Closed????

April 8, 2008

Do people seriously think that they can close down the beach in San Diego (or any where else for that matter). This is a true story. It is not about me personally nor any of my friends. It’s about some relatives, although not mine directly.

These anonymous folks were visiting sunny San Diego from the Boston area. They really wanted to see the sunset on the beach. Now this is a completely reasonable request especially considering while they were in San Diego to see the sunset, Boston was getting slammed with snow.

Some other relatives of mine sent them to La Jolla Shores to see the sunset. It’s beautiful and generally free of the riff-raff that can be spotted at other local beaches. We didn’t want to frighten these poor people.

Shortly after their arrival at the beach, a voice from above apparently announced that the beach was closing and they needed to clear the area. Now I am not certain, as I wasn’t there, but I assume these poor Boston-ites were picturing a large metal grate coming down straight from the heavens locking up the entire beach…. hook, line and sinker.

So they did what any normal person would do, right? They actually left the beach and came back home defeated after missing the sunset.

I was not there to hear the story first hand, but I do know that what they probably heard coming from the Lifeguard tower (not the heavens) was that it was approximately 7 p.m. and the lifeguards were calling it a day. The beach was not in fact closing, rather the lifeguards at that station were going home so if some idiot who didn’t know how to swim decided to take a dip they were probably on their own to drown in the Pacific Ocean.

Seriously, I know that average America is not real sharp, but c’mon did they really think the beach was “closed” and they had to vacate the area immediately? If so, then they deserve to miss the sunset and all subsequent sunsets. Honestly, I am officially declaring San Diego closed to all stupid people…. Don’t even bother coming, there will be an IQ test upon arrival at the airport and if you fail, you will be immediately shipped back to whatever rock you crawled out from.

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