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Please, Please, Please do NOT ring the bell

June 26, 2006

The FedEx man who came to my house today is lucky that he runs fast. If he’d have been any slower, I just might have caught him and slapped him for being stupid. I’m not picking on FedEx here today, especially since it’s the UPS man who is generally the target of my rage, but today is when it about put me over the edge.

Here’s my disclaimer… Allison is a light sleeper, so am I. I wish that we could both be like my hubby who can literally sleep though anything, but unfortunately we are not.

When Allison is napping during the day, we have a little sign that we hang on the front door that says, “Shh! Sweet Pea Sleepin’” and it has a cute little picture of peas in a pod.
Pretty self explanatory, huh? For most people, yes it is, but for the small percentage of the population who work for FedEx and UPS in the Dayton area, apparently this sign means nothing.

Actually I am starting to think that they do in fact see and understand the sign, but that they don’t care. Instead of complying with my request to be quiet, they ring the door bell, open the storm door, fling whatever package they have between the front door and the storm door, then slam the storm door shut with all the might before bolting for their trucks because they know that I am coming for them.

Seriously, does it take a rocket scientist to figure out that when the sign is up that the baby is sleeping and ringing the doorbell might not be the best option?

The real problem today is that I feel like crap and I too was actually sleeping before the doorbell rang and the dog freaked out barking because some little man was opening the storm door to leave the package. By the time I got down the stairs and opened the door, the man was already revving his engine and I swear smirking at me when I glared at him.

So now I have a special sign on the door addressed to any delivery drivers who approach my door asking the morons to not ring the doorbell.

Think it will work? I’m guessing it won’t, so I’ll go with plan B… Close the front door almost all the way, so that when the delivery man opens the storm door to drop off the package, Max (the 70-pound terrier) is right there waiting for his little delivery hand to enter my house, right about the time the aforementioned hand is within Max’s reach, I’ll call the dog off. Honestly this was an accident the first time it happened, but the mail man now knows to simply leave the box on the front porch, we’ll find it.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. Kitty the Cat permalink
    July 5, 2006 6:37 am

    Oh boy, I LOVE that sign! *rofl* Too cool. *snickers*

  2. Grammy permalink
    July 12, 2006 7:57 am

    I laughed all the way through the article. It is soooooo true!!!! I actually think that those delivery persons take a class on how to annoy the customers.

  3. fredflintstonesmokespot permalink
    July 30, 2006 6:00 am

    My mailman is the worst! We have a DND sign but he still beats on the door with all his might whenever a package won’t fit in the box. And of course the dog barks. And of course, the kid wakes up.

  4. C.Rebensky permalink
    December 17, 2009 2:51 pm

    LMAO! too cute!! its funny that you have this situation bc I have the same one (minus the child and watch dog) i have a mother who has paranoia – which i would not wish any one to have.. so we dissconnected our door bell and thats done the trick so far.. its easy to do you should look in to it!

  5. Derek permalink
    May 6, 2010 3:40 pm

    Why don’t you just get a P.O. Box at the Post Office? That would solve ALL of your problems!!!

  6. Stephanie permalink
    August 5, 2010 1:50 pm

    Where did you get that cute sign…I am looking for one

    • fixitmommy permalink*
      August 20, 2010 6:57 am

      Stephanie, It was a gift. Sorry I don’t know where it came from. They are hard to find!!

      • Nadine permalink
        January 30, 2012 8:46 pm

        I know this was written in 2006 but I just came across this randomly today while looking for “do not knock baby sleeping” signs. I was cracking up reading this! Been going through the same thing except its usually local politicians, verizon fios, or jehovahs witnesses. I needed that laugh thank you for that!

  7. fixitmommy permalink*
    January 30, 2012 9:34 pm

    Hi Nadine! Glad I could make you smile! This is actually one of my most popular pages! People find it all the time.{makes me think I should start selling signs!} My girls are past the nap stage, but I still have the sign!

  8. Becky permalink
    August 22, 2012 9:16 pm

    Just stumbled across this in my search for something for our door. We get so many high-school and college aged kids wanting to sell us crap. I think 90% of them are scammers. I would never give these people money. If I could, I simply wouldn’t answer, but there have been a bunch of robberies in my area lately. I read that they ring your bell and if you don’t answer, they assume you’re not home and try to break in. I don’t need that worry either. I need a polite way of letting them know that we’re home but don’t want to be bothered.

    So…did your sign that was directly addressed to the delivery men help?

    • fixitmommy permalink*
      August 23, 2012 8:38 am

      I think it did help, once I added the personal note addressed to the delivery people. I think the baby sleepign sign is a great idea to just keep solicitors away. We have a ferocious sounding dog so that what works for us now. Many of them don’t even make it to the door because the dog is so loud!

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