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Scarred for Life… Again

October 25, 2009

It’s really a wonder the Big One ever potty trained.  After our first few experiences, I was convinced I was doomed.  Then suddenly when she turned 3, she was done with diapers.  She really did most of the work on her own.  Yes, I let her take the little potty wherever she wanted and strip naked wherever she wanted and pee.  I didn’t care if she was in the bathroom, kitchen or living room.   As long as the pee or poop was in the potty I was good to go.

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So anyway yesterday at basketball, the Big One obviously had to go.  But she is 4 and she didn’t want to miss out on one second of basketball time.  Normally I force her to try and go before we leave the house.  I guess I was distracted yesterday and didn’t do that.   It was about 5 minutes into playing that she started holding herself.

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I asked her if she needed to go.  Of course she vehemently denied having to go.

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A few minutes later, she started doing the pee dance and holding herself while waiting her turn to practice shooting.   By now several other parents have noticed.  Again I asked if she needed to go.   Again she denied it.

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So I let her play some more. Although I will confess that I threatened that if she peed in her pants she would not be going to her friends’ birthday party later in the day.   I really thought the threat coupled with the obvious need to pee would crack her.

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Man, that kid is stubborn, but now she was ticked at me.  She yelled at me, “I don’t have to go!” while giving me the stink eye.

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Fine I said.

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A few more minutes go by.  Everyone watching the “game” now knows that the Big One has to pee.  They’ve all see her dancing and holding herself.   Her coach even asked her if she needed to go potty.

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Then it got so bad, she sat down on her foot in the middle of the basketball court because her hands were apparently not doing a sufficient job keeping the pee inside.  Sensing that disaster was about to occur, I did the unthinkable.   I am embarrassed to admit I did it, but I really didn’t want her peeing all over the basketball court.  I felt I had NO choice.

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I grabbed the Little One, went and picked up the Big One (I should explain, one of the hoops was broken so they were not playing a game. There were 20 kids running “drills” up and down the court.  They are 3 and 4, so really they were all just running around in circles).

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I scooped up the Big One and told her we were going to the bathroom.  Meanwhile she is flailing, kicking and screamingthat she didn’t have to go.

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It was terribly embarrassing for all of  us, but my mommy instinct knew she had to go and knew that peeing on the floor would have been way worse.  I was imagining all 20 kids slipping and sliding in my child’s pee all over the court.  Not pretty.

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So we made it to the bathroom, all the while the Big One is screaming and crying that she didn’t have to go.  I took her pants off and put her on the potty.  As soon as her little butt cheeks hit the seat, the river started flowing out of her. Honestly it was like the scene in “A League of Their Own” when Tom Hanks’ character has the marathon pee in the locker room.

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All the time she is peeing and crying, “I don’t have to go! I don’t have to go! I don’t have to go!”  She must have said it 100 times, all while she was peeing.

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She finally stopped peeing, washed her hands and ran back in just in time for the end of game cheer.

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She was all smiles and laughing with her team in a matter of seconds.  Meanwhile, I got a combination of pity looks and quiet snickers from all the other parents.   Oh well. At least nobody’s kids was slipping and sliding in pee on the court.

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I just hope and pray that she is young enough she won’t remember what I did and be scarred for life.   And by the time she is old enough to read this, I hope she can laugh about it.

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