Dog For Sale… Cheap

I know you are wondering, how I can get mad at that face

All you have to do is come get her. She is yours for the taking.

She is beautiful.  She is sweet. She is extremely tolerant of small annoying people.

She does puke almost every time she gets in the car. She also goes crazy barking at the slightest noise outside.  She has no qualms about knocking you down or anything else in her path in order to hide under the computer desk each time there is a sonic boom.

And for her newest trick, she will bolt at the speed of lightning when she sees an open door or open gate.

A couple weeks ago when we were having the concrete poured on the side yard, she bolted when the gate was off.  Everything was fine, the Husband and I were both outside watching her. She piddled in the grass, faked toward her bone like she wanted to play and then BAM she bolted.

We found her around the block. She came easily when I called her. I did not yell or hit her, I merely explained to her that running away was not a good idea.

So today, our fabulous neighbor Eddie brought over a box that was delivered to our house over the weekend when we were out of town. Everything was fine, we were chatting. Gracie Lou was standing next to me, just sort of sniffing outside when all of the sudden…. BAM she took off again.

I muttered a few choice words, got my shoes on, grabbed the leash and told the Little One to stay put as I closed her in the house (thank goodness she is so short or she would have opened the door and followed me on this wonderful little adventure).

Poor Eddie, the neighbor kept apologizing. I assured him that it was not his fault that my dog was stupid. He walked with me to try and find her. We walked around the corner and saw her about halfway down the street. I called her name.

You dog owners know what happened next, huh? Yep, she stopped, looked back at me and started running in the other direction. I just kept walking. I didn’t run, yell or threaten (Okay I did threaten her but only loud enough for Eddie to hear).

As we got nearer the end of the street, we did the same routine. I called, she stopped, looked and then bolted. By now she was at the end of the street where new houses are being built.

Eddie being the optimist said maybe one of the construction guys would try to catch her. I thought well if they tried, then she would at least run back to me since she is afraid of strangers.

No such luck, instead the gaggle of at least 20 construction workers just watched and laughed as I continued to call her name and then watch her run faster in the opposite direction.  {This time if my Spanish were better, I would have had some choice words for them!}

Finally I was getting mad. We had walked all the way around the block. I had no idea what trouble the Little One was getting into. I was done with this game.

So I yelled, “GRACIE LOU… SIT YOUR BUTT DOWN NOW!” Fortunately she did. Then through gritted teeth I told her to stay. She did until I got about 15 feet from her. The she started to get up and turned.

I think she knew I was done. I said, “DON’T YOU DARE MOVE A MUSCLE, YOU damnfreakingpaininthebutt DOG” At that point, she lowered her ears, sat and then slunk down onto her tummy.

I put her leash on her and waited for Eddie to catch up. He hung back as we rounded the corner thinking she might be afraid of him and that’s why she kept running. As Eddie got close, Gracie Lou started to twist. Knowing the maneuver well, I grabbed her, held her between my legs and put the choker that I had also grabbed before leaving home around her neck. I re-attached the leash to the choker and continued to walk home with Eddie.

After a few paces Gracie Lou turned to look at Eddie and started cowering, to which Eddie told her that he was not that one to be fearful of! He was not going to hurt her, but he made no promises as to what I was going to do to her once we got home.

I don’t know what to do with this dog.  I guess it’s the husky in her that wants to run, but I can’t be leaving my kids alone in the house to chase this damn dog around the neighborhood.

If nothing else, I cannot afford to leave them alone. Granted I should be thankful that the only trouble the Little One got into was dumping the entire box of Teddy Grahams on the floor.