The Art of Denial…

We need to work on it, apparently.

I’m just going to tell you up front, we are talking about farts today.  If you find that juvenile or offensive, then just move along.

Everyone has been in a store or mall or somewhere in close proximity to other people when someone has farted.  It may have been you who did it or it may have been someone else who did it.  But we’ve all smelled the offending smell and known that someone farted.  The true art comes in determining who did it.

If you are embarrassed about it, you can target someone near you and pretend they did it.  You can laugh and fess up or you can just run to then next aisle over and hope nobody notices.  Well if you are my children you will proudly raise your hand and claim it.

That’s all fine and good if in fact they were the responsible party.  Last night at bed time, the Husband and I were getting the girls ready for bed.

I had read a story and we were preparing to divide and conquer for the rocking, singing and praying portion of the routine.  The Husband noticed the smell and asked who farted.  To which the Big One’s arm shot up in the air and announced, “I did it! I farted!”

Not wanting to be outdone by her sister, the Little One followed suit raising her hand and proclaiming that she had done it.  This was followed by a couple minutes of giggling and sillyness as they debated which one of them had farted.

Meanwhile, Gracie Lou was conspicuously lying behind the rocking chair.  Of course the dog cannot talk and fess up, but one whiff of it and it was obvious that the fart was of the canine variety, not the human variety (don’t shake your head at me, you know dog farts smell much different than little girl farts!)

So I’m not sure what to do with my girls.  I don’t want them to be embarrassed about farts, they happen.  Everyone farts.  But at the same time, they do need to learn the art of denial or they will have some problems when they hit junior high.

{Just an aside if you are reading Grandma, no more doggie birthday cakes.  Gracie Lou had the worst gas ever after inhaling the leftovers from Omega’s cake.  I even had to sleep in the spare room last night because the smell was killing me.}