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" I’ll Need Your Driver’s License…”

April 27, 2006

Allison and I flew back to Ohio from a fabulous week in San Diego. In addition to some sunshine and family bonding, Allison picked up a nasty cold somewhere along the way.

So I went to Target to pick up some stuff including some Tylenol Cough & Cold for Allison’s cough, fever and runny nose. As I scan the cough and cold medicine aisle, I can find just about every elixir under the sun except for the concentrated infant drops. Getting a bit frustrated I scan the shelves one more time and finally find what I am looking for. The only problem is that apparently Target has taken some cues from your favorite video store and only places a façade of the item you want on the shelves. If you want the real thing you take a card up to the pharmacy and can make your purchase.

Now I have not been living under a rock, I am well aware of the new regulations requiring products that contain pseudoephedrine to be placed under lock and key to keep the crazies who make methamphetamine from stocking up. But c’mon how much of the stuff is really in the concentrated infant formula? According to the bottle, there is 7.5 mg of pseudoephedrine in each 0.8mL dose of the medication. Now I am no math genius, but I would be willing to bet that it would take cases upon cases of this stuff to really make any dangerous drugs.

So my poor baby is hacking up a storm at home and spewing snot all over daddy (which I find amusing since it’s a daily occurrence for me) and I am signing my life away at Target for a $4 bottle of Tylenol. The classic is when I took the little card to the pharmacy counter, the gal working asked me if I wanted to purchase the product. I really wanted to ask her if they were giving it away because I was the 100th customer of the day. Of course I want to buy it, why else would I be bringing her the little card with the fancy picture on it?

So she proceeds to tell me in a snotty little tone that I had to pay for it at the pharmacy register and that she would need my driver’s license. So I hand her my license and, I am not kidding she entered everything that is typed on my license into her little computer. After at least 7 minutes, she finally rings me up. I give her the cash and then have to sign a receipt acknowledging that I have received the medication. Holy cow! Who knew that buying some Tylenol for my sick baby was going to turn into a national inquisition?

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