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“Oh Yeah, we Know it Doesn’t Work…”

February 27, 2006

Just for kicks my hubby and I went to the Cincinnati Auto Show this weekend. We got free tickets and figured it’s a good excuse to get out of the house without spending a lot of cash.

The show was at Cinergy Center downstairs in the main ball room area. We entered the center via the skywalk from the parking garage which put us on the second floor of the center. No big deal we figured, we’ll just find the elevator and head down to the show {Allison was in the stroller}. A fairly competent security officer gave us vague directions to the closest elevator and we headed towards it. Little did we know that the center was crawling with cats, literally. There was some crazy cat show going on for strange people who obviously treat their cats better than their children.

We maneuver our way past the “cat agility course” and the “showplace arena” and end up at the shopping boutique. YIKES! The toys available for cats put Fisher Price to shame. Anyway I digress from my original point of this story.

We finished wandering through the cars and decide it’s time to head home. We didn’t want to zig zag past all the crazy cat people again so we found another elevator on the center’s directory and head that way.

We come to a cordoned off area that appears to be an alternative exit for the car show, so we approach the turnstile and my hubby goes to move the temporary barrier (the same way we got into the car show) when Security Officer Bob (we’ll call him SOB for short since I’m not sure of his real name) confronts us. What transpires next is the honest to goodness truth.

“Sir, what do you think you are doing?” asks SOB.

“We are trying to get to the elevator,” hubby responds.

“What elevator?” asks SOB.

“The one right over there,” replies hubby while pointing to an elevator about 200 yards away. {Shouldn’t SOB know where things like the elevator are located?}

“Okay,” says SOB in a huff.

So we get to the elevator and wait and wait and wait. After several minutes we determine that the elevator is not working so we head back the way we came. SOB is standing in the same place and the following conversation takes place as hubby is again moving the temporary barrier so I can push the stroller out.

“Have a nice day,” says SOB.

“Your elevator there is not working, you should probably let someone know,” says hubby.”

“What? The elevator, oh yeah we know it doesn’t work.” SOB says.

So what I want to know is what part of “we are trying to get to the elevator,” did SOB not understand when we passed him the first time. Did he think we just had some crazy desire to push the button over and over and over again. Did he think I wanted to use the elevator’s silver doors as a mirror to check my hair? Why in the world would he let us go down to the elevator and not let us in on his little secret that the dumb thing wasn’t working?

Oh well, as Bill Engvall would say…. “Here’s your sign.”

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